On the University: Sourcery, by Terry Pratchett

 Welcome back, for a new school year.  May your readings be joyous, educational, and never be thrown at the wall, particularly if you are reading them on your laptop.  I typically write something in recognition of the start of a new school year, and since I am actually thinking of delving into some heavier readings next, I wanted a bit of a palate cleanser, myself, in order to prepare the old eyeballs and neurons.  Terry Pratchett is good for that, so we return to the Discworld, and revisit an earlier book, focusing on the Unseen University.

Alright.  Discworld, of course, is a flat world resting on the backs of four giant elephants, standing on the back of a giant turtle, swimming through space.  Magic is real, as is all other manner of lunacy.  Magic, however, has diminished, and the home of magic is the Unseen University at Ankh-Morpork, where wizards go to study and waste their time.  If you are thinking about a more culturally famous wizard's school, Sourcery was published in 1988, OK?  And the Unseen University was introduced in 1983, in the first book in the series, but that one sucked.  Sourcery holds up to re-reading.

Anyway, magic has diminished.  The POV character, Rincewind, is the most grossly inept wizard, unable to do anything except run away, but even the more adept wizards at the University are pretty worthless.  This comes from a combination of the weakness of their own magic and their personal uselessness.  They suck.

But there's "magic," and there's "sourcery," [sp] as in, tapping into the source of power.  Eight is the magic number.  Eighth sons of eighth sons of blah blah, and you can get yourself a "sourcerer."  This results in a ten year old kid with way too much power.  Coin.  Bigger problem:  His dad wanted to cheat Death (capitalized, as Death is a recurring character), so daddy creates a magic staff and puts his own spirit into the staff to manipulate and control Coin.  Coin heads off to Unseen University (controlled by dead daddy) to take shit over, and spread sourcery throughout the world, problem being that sourcery died out because the world couldn't handle it, and that much power will lead to the end of the world.

Hand-wavey-hand-wavey bullshit deux ex machina resolution and everything gets fixed and goes back the way it was, everything's fine, world is "fixed" to the degree that Discworld is ever fixed, the end.

What?  Have you read any Pratchett?  It's all quips.

Key points:  Unseen University is blinkered, run by useless fuckwits who have no power and should have no power.  The worst thing you can do is give them power, which would lead to the end of the world.  You know things are getting really bad when someone says to burn the fucking library.  (Gee... subtle?)

In 1988, when Terry Pratchett published Sourcery, there were a series of passages from Rincewind's perspective about his identity as a "wizard."  You see, the problem is that he cannot perform any magic.  But, he wears a hat which says "wizzard" on it, and when discussing the matter, this both identifies him as a wizard, and one who cannot spell.  Yet, Rincewind asserts with the utmost confidence that preforming feats of magic has nothing to do with being a wizard.  Being a wizard, rather, is who you are.  What you are.  Doing magic?  What does that have to do with being a wizard?  This was written to be absurdist and satirical.

Pratchett wrote that in '88.  Today, someone looking for counterrevolutionary subtext would demand that Pratchett go in for a struggle session, and perhaps burn his book.  Can... you figure out why?  Particularly taking place, as it does, in a university?

But that's not my point.  My point is the question of the power and purpose of a University.  What is this thing?  Aside from the... source... of my paycheck?  A dumping ground for those who spout gibberish while feigning incantation, better ignored than feted?

OK, yes, and now I'm done for the morning.

What?  You wanted more?  OK, fine.  There are departments that, like, do stuff.  We call them "the real sciences."  Also, engineering, and a few other places.  Me?  The social sciences?  The humanities?  No, we suck.  We make up technical jargon, because anything too readable cannot be published.  Do we solve any problems?  No.  What happens when people pay too much attention?  When people take us too seriously?

When we have... power?

You know we suck, right?  Without listing them, consider the crazy, indefensibly stupid ideas with cultural power right now which began in academia and have been perpetuated through academia.  The problem?  Somebody gave us power.  We have no business holding power.  The children who gave us power need to be dealt with, and our power needs to be taken away.

Because we suck.

What's good about us?  We have a lot of books.  Read them.  Just don't let us have power.

Chris Whitley, "Power Down," from Weed.  The original version is on Terra Incognita, and it is good, but this one is better.