Louie Gohmert, N.K. Jemisin and the orbit of the moon

 Since I wrote a long post yesterday, I'm just going to do a quick, fun one today.  As you may or may not have seen, my favorite Louie-Tune in Congress, Rep. Louie Gohmert (Guess Which Party - Guess Which State) outdid himself fairly recently.  Yeah, he saw the competition from Marjorie Taylor Greene, and he upped his game.  Jewish space lasers?  Hah!  Louie laughs at your infantile attempts to out-crazy The Gohmert!  What I did not realize is that Louie is more literate that we ever gave him credit for being.  You see, he has apparently read my favorite sci-fi series-- the Broken Earth trilogy, by N.K. Jemisin!

The trilogy has some kind of movie deal now, because everything is an adaptation, and I'll spare you another rant on that today, but a) they'll fuck it up, b) what's the point when the great joys were things like the second person/third person shifts in The Fifth Season, which can only work in print, c) I can already predict what kind of disastrous adaptation choices they'll make, and... I'm gonna hate it.  I know I am.  Stop it, people.

Regardless, clearly Louie has read the books.

You see, when talking climate change with the Forest Service, my boy Louie actually proposed the plot of the Broken Earth trilogy.  Change the climate of the Earth by changing the orbit of the moon!

If you have not read the Broken Earth trilogy, then why are you reading the pointless drivel that I dispense, when everything Jemisin has written-- with the dramatic exception of that terrible book, The City We Became-- has been so much more worthy of your time?  For those who have read the novels, what follows is a quick recap.  For those who have not, spoilers shall follow, although a full understanding of the backstory does not come until the third novel, The Stone Sky.

My personal interpretation of the novels is that they take place on our Earth, in a distant future.  I can argue it, but it doesn't matter.  The "Earth" is ruled by an advanced civilization called Syl Anagist.  In order to find an inexhaustible supply of energy, Syl Anagist prepares to tap the magical energies of the Earth itself, which is actually a living, sentient being.  They build a complex system of devices-- obelisks-- to perform the task.  The obelisks are to be operated by the forerunners of the "orogenes," (orogenes are people who can manipulate kinetic energy, most importantly tectonic energy).  When the pre-orogenes figure out what is going on, instead of directing the obelisks at the Earth, they need to direct the energy somewhere.  The... moon.

The result?  The moon's orbit gets fucked up.  It goes out onto an ellipse such that for most of the time, it's nowhere near the Earth.

The Earth, sentient being that it is, gets pissed off.  It wants revenge, and keeps creating climate disasters to try to shrug off the human infestation that threw the moon into that orbit, because it liked the moon.  That's, like, its child, or something.  So, the Earth periodically creates major tectonic events, spews toxic chemicals into the atmosphere, 'n stuff, creating "fifth seasons" when the surface of the planet becomes nigh unlivable, and if you haven't prepared to hunker down, sucks to be you!

So let's recap.  A technologically advanced civilization fucks with the orbit of the moon, creating climate disasters!

And Louie, literate science fiction fan that he is, and clear environmentalist that he is, proposes... that we alter the orbit of the moon.  For the purpose of altering the climate!

Awesome.  Just... awesome.

The best part?  When the Forest Service lady has to humor him, and say, "I'd have to follow up with you on that one."  It's like when NOAA had to indulge Trump's sharpie, or Birx and the rest had to indulge his bleach lunacy.

Hey, see what I did there?  "Lunacy?"

And now, music.  There are innumerable songs referencing the moon, and plenty of good choices, but only one perfect choice.  Carolyn Wonderland, with a live performance of the title cut from Moon Goes Missing.  If this song isn't used in the movies, it'll be just one more demonstration of the fact that Jemisin hates white women.  Which... she does.  Read The City We Became.  Nora really hates white women.

But Carolyn is fucking awesome.